Little Talks
by Kael Lane
Summary: The Sequal to Counting Stars follows the Shadowhunters, Simon, and Magnus as they search for Alec. Where is he? Who has him? Why do they have him? And most importantly what state will he be in when he is found? All the signs point to Alec's death but no one is ready to accept it.
1. You're Gone, Gone, Gone Away

**This is the Sequal to Counting Stars**

**This fic takes place after CoLS**

**There will probably be spoilers.**

**I may or may not stay true to the snippets Cassie has posted on her own Tumblr.**

**As always, I don't own these characters or The Mortal Instruments, Cassandra Clare does. **

**I will do my very best to stay true to her characters. (Also I have not yet read The Bane Chronicles so if I say something outside of cannon I am sorry. :) )**

* * *

******You're Gone, Gone, Gone Away**

Waves crashing into him. Water surrounding him. He was going to drown. ___I can't swim, _he thought calmly as another wave crashed over his head, threatening to consume him. "Breathe Magnus," came a voice he almost recognized. ___If I breathe I will drown._If you don't breathe you will suffocate. ___It doesn't matter anymore. Alec is dead._That isn't what she said. ___She said she thought he was, enough that the Clave won't even look for him. My life is over._"Pull yourself together Bane!"

Someone smacked him, hard. He heard it before his brain registered the pain. It pulled him out of his head and he realized he hadn't actually been drowning, he was still in his apartment. He looked around slightly dazed. Everyone was suddenly much taller than him, with the exception of Jace who was in his face. ___You are on the floor you nub. _The floor? How the hell had he ended up there? He looked at Izzy and he remembered.

The Shadowhunters had shown up on his doorstep in the middle of the night freaking out about Alec. When he'd asked them what it was they'd all gone silent, all stared at him with pity, all except for Jace whose face had stayed in a hard line. Then Isabelle had said it, the blow that had hit him hard enough to force his soul from his body for a few moments.

"Magnus the Clave thinks Alec is dead."

His mind was pretty blank after that. It wasn't possible. He couldn't believe it. Alec couldn't be dead. Just the other day he'd seen him sulking at Takis with the others. Besides, he would know if Alec had died. He would feel it, wouldn't he? Wasn't that the way it happened with tragic romance? One person dies and the other knew. Their heart would sink, they'd have this horrible feeling in the pit of their stomach, then the news would reach them and there would be no shock. Had he felt anything? Shouldn't it have woken him from his sleep, or hit hit in the middle of his self pity? If anyone's relationship was a tragic romance it was certainly theirs. No, Alec couldn't be dead, Magnus would feel it. He would know. ___This isn't a romance novel Magnus._

He looked over their faces, stopping on Jace. Maybe Magnus wouldn't feel the death of the most important person in his life, but Jace would.

"Can you feel him?" he asked quietly.

"What?"

"Can you feel him?"

Jace looked at him, confused, like he didn't understand the question. It sparked anger in Magnus and suddenly he found himself slamming Jace against the wall.

"God damn it Jace, can you feel him?" he growled, "You are his fucking Parabatai, you should know, you should feel him!"

Jace's brows furrowed as he thought, then his face fell and he looked at Magnus with heartbreaking sadness in his eyes. The Warlock's heart sank as he looked at him. ___No. This isn't happening. _"I haven't been able to feel him since he disappeared Magnus, and my rune faded." He said quietly, "Its not the normal fading, but the Silent Brothers think it could be something to do with the Heavenly Fire. They think he is dead though."

Magnus let his hands fall to his sides. It was over then. If Jace couldn't feel him and the rune was fading Alec had to be gone. He walked over to his couch and sunk down into it, putting his head in his hands. ___My Alexander, gone. And because I am such an old fool he died thinking I hate him. _He felt a hand land on his shoulder and looked up. It was Simon.

"We wouldn't be here if we thought what the Clave does you know." He said, gesturing towards Jace. "He dragged us here for a reason."

Jace spoke again, a glimmer of confidence in his voice, "I didn't feel him die Magnus. I just stopped feeling him. I can't believe he is dead. I wont."

"He has to be alive," Izzy whispered, almost to herself. "He promised me he'd never go away. I can't lose another brother, not so soon after Max."

"He has to." Magnus agree, now determined.___I will find you Alexander, if it is the last thing I do and when I do find you, I'm never letting you go again._


	2. The Stairs Creak As You Sleep

******Part 2: The Stairs Creak As You Sleep, It's Keeping Me Awake**

Alec stared, unwilling to believe what was in front of him.

_"It will burn, all that you love will burn."_

The voice came to him, taunting him, and it was right. Before him was the Institute, those he loved trapped inside it and on fire. His home, his family, all of them screaming, agony on their faces as they tried to break down windows. All of them dying and begging for his help and he could to nothing to save them.

_"It will come swiftly, and my wrath will engulf them all."_

Alec watched as the building collapsed in on itself, into flame, smoke and rubble. He had failed and now all he loved was paying for his failure. What kind of Shadowhunter was he? He shook himself free of the immobilizing grief and ran. He turned from it and ran as hard as his legs would carry him. He kept running on and on until the world turned to darkness and he was suddenly alone in the haze and ashes that was now his world. He turned around, panic begining to engulf him, to find himself face to face with beautiful cat eyes slightly obscured by lose dark hair. Those eyes were so full of joy and love at the sight of him that Alec almost felt his heart break. Those were the eyes he wanted to remember, the eyes he had been so desperate to imagine. "Alec," he whispered holding his arms out. The Shadowhunter let himself collapse into them, letting the feel and smell of the Warlock wrap around him. "Quiet now my love, you are safe." Magnus lifted Alec's face to his, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

_"I will destroy you."_

Flames burst around them, catching the Warlock's clothes, burning him. For a moment his face looked angelic, peaceful, the last moment of his love for the Shadowhunter lingering on his features, and then it was gone and he let out one final scram that shook Alec to the very core of his being.

—

Magnus tossed and turned in his bed, trying desperatly to get some sort of sleep. They had been searching for Alec for three days now and still they had nothing. The more they found nothing, the less Magnus slept. How could he sleep when Alec was missing, possibly dead? ___No, don't think that. He isn't dead. You can think he is dead if we find a body, not until then. _His thoughts gave him chills and he rolled over again. He was now facing Alec's side of the bed. His hand ran across the sheets there, desperate for some kind of closeness to the Shadowhunter. The pillows didn't even hold Alec's scent anymore, nothing did. Not the pillows, not the couch, not even the sweater he was sleeping in which he had managed to con Izzy into bringing him from Alec's room at the Institute. There was nothing here of his beloved Nephilim. He choked back a sob and sprawled out on his back, trying to take up as much space as possible so the bed felt less empty. It wasn't working.

With a sigh and another choked back sob Magnus pulled himself from the bed and made his way to the study. The Shadowhunters were soundly sleeping in his living room. They'd fallen asleep there a few hours earlier after their nightly patrol through the downworld searching for signs of Alec. Jace had come in first and landed on the armchair, pulling Clary with him. They were asleep there now, Clary curled into Jace, her head resting on his shoulder as he held her tighter than could possibly be comfortable. Izzy and Simon had managed to find the couch.

When Magnus had gone to bed they'd still been awake, Izzy sobbing quietly into Simon's chest, as was her nightly ritual by now. She always waited for Jace to be asleep, a false show of strength. Now they were layed out on the couch, Izzy tucked safely into Simon's tall frame, sleeping fitfully. Simon however was awake, softly stroking her hair, ever vigilant and prepared for the nightmares that woke her.

Simon nodded in Magnus's direction as he passed and Magnus gave him a small tilt of his head. He'd decided he liked Simon recently. Of all of them Simon had been most concerned about Magnus's welfare in the wake of Alec's disappearance. He was constantly forcing the Warlock to stop and take a break, pushing food into his hands, feeding the Chairman, making sure Magnus had what he needed while the others took care of themselves. Yes, Simon was someone he liked.

He entered his study silently, making sure the door made no noise as it shut. Even this place was covered in memories of Alec, but there were fewer here. He let himself sink into the leather chair behind his desk with a sigh and felt his eyelids instantly droop some. Even if sleeping at the desk wasn't ideal Magnus was willing to take it. Sleep was sleep at this point. He was just on the verge of drifting off when a noise startled him awake. He looked up to find himself facing Maureen.


	3. Though the Truth May Vary

**Though the Truth May Vary, This Ship Will Carry Our Bodies Safe to Shore**

Maureen's appearance startled Magnus. The Vampire had been rather elusive to the Clave, leading the Manhattan Vampires from behind the scenes, disappearing every time someone got close to finding her. For someone so young she was extremely smart and also very powerful, to an extent that even Magnus was unsure what she was capable of. He'd seen Camille after Maureen had gotten a hold of her. The Clave had called him to identify the body. She'd done quite a number on Camille, enough that Magnus had hardly recognized her. Now here she stood, in his office, calmly staring at him, a smug smile plastered on her face.

Magnus straightened himself up in his officer chair, doing his best to look dignified despite his current appearance. He looked her over for a moment, noting that she was clearly a projection, for which he was thankful, he didn't need her in his home. She seemed calm and put together, though he noted she was idly playing with a small object in her hands. "Marueen," he said with a formal nod, and a quick glance at the clock. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, and at such an early hour?" Three in the morning, what an ungodly hour she'd chosen. Her smile grew slightly at the cold tone he'd used.

"Is that any way to great a guest Mr. Bane?"

"Considering the hour and the way you left my friend I don't really feel you are a guest."

"Pity, I had hoped we could be of some use to each other."

He cocked an eyebrow at her in confusion and her smile widened. She walked softly to his bookshelf, looking it over before turning back to him. "It seems we both have something the other desires Mr. Bane." His face must have betrayed more confusion than he wanted because her smile turned into an outright grin. He wanted to smack it off her face, and had she actually been physically in the room, he probably would have.

"You have my attention Maureen, what do you want?" he said doing his best to remain calm with her. He was unsure what the girl wanted but he had an icy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't need this right now. He needed to be getting as much sleep as he could so he had the strength to find Alec, but the last thing he needed was to anger this girl. She would be a formidable enemy, if Camille was any indication.

"Good," she said walking over and settled herself in the armchair next to the books. Magnus grimaced. That was Alec's place in the office. Magnus had added it with him in mind. Alec would sit and read while Magnus worked. They could remain close this way, even when Magnus was up to his ears in research for one job or another. Magnus quickly schooled his features though as Maureen looked back up. There was something slightly off about her eyes, though he couldn't quite place what. "I've heard rumors that you've become the owner of a rather interesting book, Mr. Bane."

Magnus kept his face blank, though his suspicion began to rise. If it was the book he thought, he wasn't sure what the Vampire needed it for. "I'm not entirely sure what you mean Maureen," he replied with a gesture towards the bookshelf. "As you can see I have a great many books." She frowned at him, her body going stuff for a moment.

"Don't play with me Warlock." she spat, and Magnus was sure he saw something odd flash in her eyes again before she schooled her features and added sweetly, "I have it on good authority that you are in possession of The Book of the White."

Magnus leaned back in his chair, the tips of his fingers coming together before him. He let a small spark of magic escape them, reminding the Vampire of the power they held. She smiled again, her fangs coming out. "You don't frighten me Mr. Bane, though you put on an impressive show," she said, again fiddling with the object she held in her hands. Magnus eyed it an he spotted a flash of silver. "You should note that cooperating with me will be in your best interest." She tossed the object in his direction and he caught it on reflex, surprised that as a projection she was able to do so. He would have to look into this when he was less busy. He looked down at the object in his hands and felt his heart freeze for a moment.

_Magnus held the box in his hands, looking it over. It was small, silver, with a bow that sparkled when the light hit it just right, no doubt it was jewelry of some kind. What though he wasn't sure. It wasn't long and thin like a bracelet, a little to big to fit a ring or a earrings, and he doubted it was a necklace, he had expressed his dislike of necklaces before._

"_Magnus just open it." Alec said, a smile playing at his lips._

"_You didn't have to get me anything." he replied, eying the Shadowhunter._

"_It's your birthday," Alec countered._

"_I've had many birthdays. They lose their wonder after the first hundred or so."_

_Alec rolled his eyes and pulled the Warlock down next to him on the couch, nuzzling his head into Magnus's neck._

"_It is the first birthday you've spent with me. Forgive me if I feel the need to celebrate it." He kissed the Warlocks neck. "Besides, you like being spoiled. Open it please."_

_Magnus smiled and gave an overly dramatic sigh, pulling a laugh from Alec. He made a good show of undoing the bow and taking off the top of the box. Inside was a small silk cushion, on top of which sat two silver bands, each containing two small stones, one bright blue and the other a brilliant yellow-green. Magnus's eyes widened and he looked over at Alec who laughed slightly, plucking the box from his hands._

"_Relax, I'm not proposing," he said, tipping both rings into the palm of his hand. He slid one onto his own left hand before gently taking Magnus's hand in his own and sliding the ring onto his slim finger. "I wanted to get you something you would actually wear, and you said necklaces make you crazy unless they are simple chains, and even then you wear them as the outfit calls for it. Then Clary mentioned that Mundanes often wear something called a promise ring when they are in serious relationships. I liked the idea, I thought it sounded romantic, so I had them made when we were in Paris. They just came in yesterday otherwise I'd have given them to you sooner."_

_Magnus looked the ring over, a smile coming to his face. "It's beautiful Alec," he said looking up into his Shadowhunter's eyes. He saw the love Alec held for him there and his heart warmed. "I love it. Thank you Alexander."_

_Alec leaned in and kissed him deeply, "Happy Birthday Magnus."_

Magnus held in his hand the ring that matched the one currently on his own finger. He looked up at Maureen, panic clearly on his face, and her face betrayed her amusement.

"Where did you get this?" he whispered, dreading her answer. "Why do you have this ring?"

Her smile grew, showing her fangs. In that moment she looked more dangerous than a young girl had any right to look. The odd light flashed in her eyes again and Magnus realized finally what he was seeing. There was a demon present in those eyes. Possession among downworlders was rare, mundanes were easier to inhabit, but every so often there would be a strong demon who would find a weak enough downworlder, and it seemed little, just turned Maureen had been just what was needed.

"I found it on the finger of a Shadowhunter," she said sweetly. "He's a pretty one. All darkness and light mixed with muscle and a pretty face. It's those eyes that do it though, they drag you in. They're his best feature. Would be a pity if something happened to them."  
"Where is he," Magnus hissed, his hand clenching. "If you've hurt him, I swear I will hunt you down and-"  
"Easy now Warlock, you want to find your pretty Shadowhunter don't you?" she said, her smile gone. "The Book of the White. You will give it to me. You will do this and I will let your pretty Shadowhunter go. If you don't I will rip out his eyes, turn him, and then let him starve before I set him out in the sunlight. Then I will send his eyes to you in a glass jar."

Magnus couldn't keep the grimace hidden this time, and at his reaction Maureen stood up and leaned over the desk, resting on her hands. "Three days Mr. Bane, that's all you have. In three days you will meet me where I killed your friend Camille with the book in hand. You will come alone. No Shadowhunters. No Daylighter. You will have no one with you, or I swear to you Mr. Bane I will slit Alexander's throat in front of you."

"How do I know you haven't already killed him? How do I know you wont kill me when the book is yours?"

"You don't. Though if you want to see that beautiful Shadowhunter of yours again, you'll just have to trust me now wont you Mr. Bane?"


	4. It's the House Telling You

**It's the House Telling You to Close Your Eyes**

Alec spent ages in what seemed like an endless daze, drifting somewhere between dreams and reality, never really sure how to tell the difference between the two. He'd seen so many things, killed so many people that he wasn't quite sure what his reality was anymore. His confusion about Magnus was the worst of it. Had he killed him? Had someone else killed him while Alec helplessly watched him die? What was the last conversation they'd had? It had been the party, hadn't it? Or perhaps their break up? Maybe they were still in Paris? Or the worst thought, was Magnus even real?

He wished desperately that he knew. The possibility that Magnus wasn't even real, that he was something Alec's mind had made up was enough to almost break his will. He had to break free of this, had to know, to see the warlocks face, touch him with his hands. He had to know that Magnus was real. He would never know if he was here. The need to break free of his confinement was strong. Now if only he could just pull himself from the cloud in his mind. If only he could just wake up.

As the thoughts came to him the fog began to lift and he slowly came to. His mind registered that this was indeed reality, not just another of the vivid fantasies that had plagued him. The room he was in was dark, and he couldn't make out much. He was chained to a post of some kind, that much he gathered, and could remember from the last time he was awake. How long had he been that way though? His muscles ached, and his lips were cracked from lack of water. He was pretty sure it had been at least a few days. He tried to move and found that he could bring his hands up to his face but not lift them over his head, and a thick chain held him around the tops of his thighs, keeping him tightly in his seated position.

He ran his hands over what parts of him that he could. He didn't seem to have any major injuries, except for a crusted over cut on his forehead. He was sure that one was deep enough bone was showing. He was bruised and stiff, but otherwise seemed mostly whole. Both feet moved when he willed them, so that wasn't something he need concern himself with. He muttered a hasty prayer and thanked the Angel he wasn't physically damaged, though his mental state was still questionable. Now what he needed was water. The more awake he got the more aware of it he became.

"Hello?" He called out in hopes that there was possibly someone around who would be sympathetic to his situation. His voice came out mostly a dry croak though and he doubted it had been heard. He tried again, and this time it was met with a response, though it wasn't directed at him."

"You hear that?"

"Sounds like the Shadowhunter woke up."

"Good, you heard the Mistress. Go feed him. I'm going to let her know."

"Why do I got to feed him?"

"Because I said so, and don't you be chatting him up, you heard her. No one talks to him, 'cept her."

There was shuffling and a door closing, then a crack of light came through and hit him full in the face as someone opened the door up in front of him. The light was harsh and blinded him for a moment. He didn't even have time for his eyes to adjust before something was dropped in his lap and the door was shut again with a resounding bang. He blinked a few times, until he was used to the darkness again and looked down. A water bottle, a bread roll and an apple. The stereotypical prisoner food almost made him laugh. Between the bickering henchmen, dark prison room, and being chained to the ground he wasn't sure how seriously he should take this. Had he been Jace, he'd be making fun of the situation. He had enough fear leftover from his dreams that he wasn't near being able to react in a Jace-like manner though. He hesitantly lifted the water bottle and took the cap off. He had to force himself not to drink it all, fearing the unknown length up time he would be there. He didn't have as much self control with the bread, it was gone fairly quickly as he hadn't realized how hungry he was until the first few bites hit is empty stomach.

Alec sighed then, trying to clear the rest of the fuzz from his mind. It wasn't an easy thing to do and he was starting to think that maybe they'd been drugging him. Before he could contemplate that more though the door opened again and this time lights were switched on in the room. He groaned and tried his best to shield his eye with his hands. As his eyes adjusted he became aware of his surrounding. He was in a basement from the looks of things. Concrete floor, boxes shoved in a corner, a demon summoning circle painted neatly in the center of the room. The post he was chained to seemed to be a supporting beam of some kind, though he could tell from the old blood stains on what he could see of it that this wasn't all it was used for.

"Do you like it Shadowhunter? I was so glad to have made friends with the Warlock who owns the place. Such an out of the way little hiding spot."

Alec's eyes snapped forward, focusing on the voice that had spoken.

"Maureen?"

"Don't look so surprised Alexander." She said with a sweet smile. "You did come after me you know."

"Where am I?"

"So abrupt? Where are your manners."

"Listen you little bitch I-"

"No you listen. I'm not here to chit chat." She said, cutting him off. "I needed to make sure you ate and such, wouldn't do to have you starve to death before I bring our dear Mr. Bane down here. He might think I've been mistreating you."

Alec felt his breath catch, "You have Magnus?"

She smiled, showing off her fangs. "Not yet. I will soon enough though."

"I swear on the Angel if you hurt him I'll-"

"You'll do what Shadowhunter? You aren't exactly in a position to make threats."

Alec glared at her and she smiled before crouching down near him, just far enough that he couldn't reach her. He saw in her eyes then that she was possessed. It certainly explained a lot. Maureen was tiny, and she'd been innocent according to Simon, before the whole Lilith situation had come about.

"I won't hurt him as long as he behaves and does what I ask. That's why I have you here, for incentive."

"You're using me as blackmail? Good luck with that. Magnus doesn't want anything to do with me."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"Oh? And what do you know Bloodsucker? He is done with me. You'd have better luck kidnapping his cat to get a reaction than you will with me."

She giggled. It was high pitched and overly forced. Demons never were all that good at mimicking emotions that weren't anger when they possessed people.

"Oh I have gotten quite a lovely reaction actually. I just came back from visiting him. He's been searching high and low for your pretty face, and when he found out I had you I seriously thought he might feint. He is actually feeding into things quite perfectly."

Alec flinched slightly. He'd been afraid of that. He knew where his family would go as soon as they found him missing. "What do you even want from him?"

Her face grew serious for a moment, and he almost caught a glimmer of the real Maureen. The moment passed quickly though and she was back to grinning.

"My master has his uses for Mr. Bane, and if I know Magnus Bane like I think I do, he won't hesitate to do as I ask. He always was a sucker for black hair and blue eyes. He'll give in to me, he'll gladly give up all that he is if it means saving you. You will be his downfall Alexander."


	5. I See You When I Fall Asleep

Little Talks pt 5

I feel so horrible for keeping you all waiting so long but life got super crazy and I haven't been able to do anything as far as writing goes. Anyway, here it is, part 5. I will edit and such when I'm on my computer instead of my kindle. So sorry for the wait.

* * *

**I'll See You When I Fall Asleep**

Magnus sat, stunned by Maureen's words, and watched her projection fade. She had Alec. Worse still she had proof that she had Alec. Every time Magnus had seen him that ring had still been on his finger, still been idly twisted when he wasn't paying attention. It had left Magnus feeling warm inside to see, that despite everything they were going through, despite the physical discrepancies made by his Shadowhunter, Alex's heart at least had remained loyal. No though his one little sign of hope sat in the palm of his hand as a sign of dread, of impending doom. He felt his chest get tight, panic building inside him. She'd killed Camille, no she had torn Camille apart. She was possessed by a demon so that gave Magnus good reason to think Camille's death was more about getting to Magnus than it was about taking over the Vampires. If she was willing to do that to Camille, a woman Magnus hadn't loved in years, a woman who had betrayed him beyond forgiveness, what would she be willing to do to Alec? Beautiful, kind, caring Alec, who was loyal to a fault, and whom he loved with every fiber of his being. The thought of what she could do with that kind of leverage…

There was a loud crash that brought Magnus out of his mind and sent the sleeping Shadowhunters running through the door, weapons at the ready. The Warlock's eyes widened as he stared across the room. Somehow in his panicked state he had managed to pick up the vase of roses off his desk, a vase of flowers he'd been keeping alive by magic since Alexander had given them to him months ago. He'd picked it up and thrown it at the wall. Upon impact the vase had shattered and the magic keeping the roses alive died out, causing them to instantly dry and be ground to dust. Magnus choked on a sob and collapsed into the desk chair again, his head in his hands.

"Magnus?" Izzy asked hesitantly, "What's going on?"

The Warlock looked up at her, desperation in his eyes. "Maureen has Alexander."  
—-

Alec felt himself drifting between dreams again. It was a actually preferable to being awake. At east in his dreams he could escape the pain of the torture Maureen was putting him through. She was having a good time with him, letting her pet Warlock and her Vampire minions use him as they wanted. He was bruised, bleeding and beaten when he was awake. At least in his dreams, despite the mental torment, which he was now convinced was Maureen's doing, he could forget about the physical pain. He had even managed to convince himself that most of the dreams weren't real. Most of them, not all of them though.

This one was different, this one felt more real than any of the others. He was in Paris, the hotel he and Magnus had shared when they'd traveled. He was laying among the soft sheets and pillows of the bed they'd shared, Magnus tucked tightly against his side, head on his chest. It was bliss. The start of this dream was enough to make him wish it were real. It was too different though to be real. They'd been to Paris in the spring, and he could see snow falling outside the window. Maureen must be losing her touch if she thought that a flaw that big would keep him invested. He sighed and allowed his fingers to run through Magnus's soft hair. He may as well enjoy the good parts of this dream while they lasted.

Magnus stirred under his hand and Alec felt himself stiffen up. This was usually the point where the dreams went sour. Magnus would look up at him and he'd do something cute, then Alec would kill him. He hated that part but was always unable to stop himself. If this mess was ever over he was going to have some serious mental issues. Magnus moved again, lifting himself up and rubbing his eyes before looking over at him.

"Alec?" He questioned, his voice soft. His eyes widened in surprise as he looked up at Alec. "Alexander, dear god please tell me that's you." He sat up quickly and reached for Alec, but the Shadowhunter scrambled back away from him on instinct. Alec could see the hurt on Magnus's face but he backed away further instead. "Alexander, I don't understand. Why are you-"

"Just stay back ok?" Alec said cutting him off. "I can't do this again."

"Alec if this is about the party, you have to know I was just hurt. I-"

"The party? Raziel knows that is the last thing on my mind." Alec shook his head, "I just can't hurt you again."

Magnus looked at him with sad eyes and moved closer anyway. The Shadowhunter tried to back away farther but he found himself against the headboard. "Alexander relax," the Warlock's hand found his cheek and he leaned in to lightly press their lips together. "I'm not going to hurt you, love."

Alec lifted his hand to Magnus's, keeping his eyes closed, letting himself enjoy the moment before taking the Warlock's hand in his own. He opened his eyes and sighed as he looked into the cat eyes that haunted him so often. "That's the thing though isn't is Magnus," he said, bringing the other man's palm to his lips and kissing it lightly before holding it to his chest. "Its never you that hurts me. That's not how this works. She puts you here, in my head. She makes us talk, makes me remember every beautiful thing about you, and then I shove a knife through your heart, or slit your throat or my personal favorite, gauge your eyes out with my bare hands. She got creative with that dream. I just cannot keep killing you my love, I can't. It is starting to become physically painful."

Magnus shook his head and moved quickly, straddling Alec's hips and taking his face in his hands. "Alexander you are not going to kill me," he said softly running his thumbs over Alec's cheek's. "This isn't a dream, no wait it is sort of, but not like that. No don't interrupt me just listen. Maureen came to me, in the middle of the night, told me she had you. She had your ring so I believe her, but the others aren't so sure. I needed a way to speak to you, I also needed to make sure you were alive." He let out a sigh and kissed Alec's forehead before going on. "I don't know why I didn't think about this sooner Alec and I am so sorry it's taken me this long."

"Wait, I don't understand. What is going on?"

"I'm dream walking Alexander." He said with a sad smile. "This is me, the real me. I'm here. You aren't going to kill me because she isn't controlling this."

"How?"

"Its a trick I learned years ago. I'd completely forgotten about it until now." Magnus said, looking Alec over like he hadn't seen him in ages. "I can't believe it has taken me this long to remember Alexander. I'm so very sorry."

"Its really you then?"

"Yes, I promise."

"And I won't kill you?"

"You won't."

Alec let it sink in for a moment. He had noticed he had more control than usual, and that Magnus seemed more real, more like himself. He only gave himself a moment before he was pulling Magnus against himself and pressing their lips together again. Magnus responded eagerly, running his hands through Alec's hair and moving from his mouth to his cheek, his fore head, his neck, then back to his mouth, muttering the whole time in a language Alec didn't understand mixed with things Alec did. They let themselves go on that, taking in each other. Things were falling apart around them, but for that moment it was easy enough to forget


	6. The Screams All Sound the Same

**The Screams All Sound the Same**

Three times Magnus had been in Alec's head. Three times they had met in different places and still he was no closer to getting answers. Alec was trying on his end to find out as much information as he could but it was going no where, and on Magnus's end things weren't much better. The Shadowhunters were now searching through every subway tunnel in New York trying to find any hint of Maureen. It wasn't a solid lead but right now it was really all they had. So far all they had found there were Demon's nests and the abandoned homes of New York's homeless population. No Maureen, no demons smart enough to know anything, and no Alec. Magnus had exhausted every resource at his disposal. All he could do now was hope that Alec could figure out a way to let him know where he was.

The last time he'd been inside his Shadowhunter's dreams they'd taken Alec to another place. He wasn't tired to a pole anymore, but he was also too weak to do much in the way of fighting back or escaping. He had however found a rune on his body he hadn't put there. It was one he'd never seen before, but he'd managed to show it to Magnus in his dream. It was a cloaking rune. It was what was hiding him from tracking spells, and it was why his Parabatai rune had faded. It was a temporary way to sever his connection with Jace so that even he had no way of feeling out for Alec and finding him that way. It was an old rune, one the Clave didn't use anymore, and Magnus had only known what it was after a long conversation with Brother Zachariah, now back to being Jem Carstairs. Apparently a lot happened when you were keeping yourself holed up in your apartment trying to mourn the failed relationship between yourself and your incredibly hot Shadowhunter boyfriend, who knew.

They had a day left before he was supposed to meet with Maureen and as of this moment Magnus was freaking out. All he could do was hope that Alec could find some way to get that rune off his body and trigger one of Magnus's tracking spells. If he couldn't then Magnus would be handing over the Book of the White to a demon possessed Vampire against Alec's wishes, and direct orders from the Clave. He'd already decided as much. The book wasn't as important as Alexander. The damn Clave wasn't either. He didn't even care that they'd threatened to punish him greatly if he so much as thought about it. Thanks to the Accords they couldn't kill him without good reason, and the harshest punishment they gave to Warlocks who hadn't actually killed a Shadowhunter was taking away their immortality. Well fuck them, they could have his immortality. In fact, if it came down to giving them the book, he'd hand it to them himself tied up in a bow made of silk as soon as Alexander was safely home. There was no way he was letting Alec die, not while there was still breath in his body.

* * *

Alec hated this new room. He hated it with a horrible passion. It wasn't so much the room itself. It was just a square room with an uncomfortable bed and no window. It wasn't even the smell really, somewhere between rotting eggs and dead flesh. It was the screaming. Constant screaming. So much of it that he found it difficult to do anything but burry his head beneath his pillow. How many others were there in this place? How many people were they torturing?

He knew from just himself that it was a daily thing. Wake up to water dumped on your head, be dragged to the torture room, get beaten, abused and have a number of horrible experiments done on you, get an iratze and then be dragged back to your room where you were promptly stabbed with a needle and drugged into a nightmare filled sleep. This was only even a few hours of his day, which he knew by the clock that hung on the wall in his room. He woke up occasionally to find that only an hour or so had passed, and still there was screaming. It was different voices all the time. So the question remained, just how many people did they have to keep the screaming going at all hours? There were very few moments of silence, and Alec was starting to treasure them when they happened. He was a Shadowhunter. He was supposed to be able to save these people. The constant screaming was starting to remind him just how useless he was. If he had been Jace or Izzy he'd be able to save them, to help them get out, but he wasn't. He was Alec, and he was a failure. He was a poor excuse for a boyfriend and a poor excuse for a Shadowhunter.

He groaned and rolled onto his back. He needed to get out of here. Magnus had told him if he could get the rune off his body, or damage it then they could track him. If they could track him then they could save him. He wasn't even sure why Magnus wanted to help him. He had done so much to hurt Magnus, and Alec wouldn't have blamed him if he decided to hate him. Alec hated himself, so it wouldn't even surprise him at this point. There was a very real possibility that Magnus didn't actually want to save him. His family had enough money, his mother could have easily paid for Magnus to help them. _Then why is he kissing you so much in those dreams? Face it, we do a lot more kissing in those dreams than we do talking._ That was true. They did a lot of kissing, a lot of touching, a lot of saying they loved each other. Alec had found ways to explain it all away though, Magnus was being paid to help find him, clearly he was also being paid to keep him calm. It was an easy enough thing to remember when he was awake. It was not so easy to remember when he was sleeping and Magnus was standing in front of him in all his god-like perfection.

He sighed and looked down at his chest where the rune he was supposed to be destroying sat. It was an ugly thing, all angles and harsh corners. It was hard to believe this was one of the Angel's runes, but Magnus had said he had it on good authority from a Silent Brother that this is indeed what he was looking at. Alec had a good idea how to get rid of it, but it wasn't going to be an easy thing to do, and it was going to take away his one source of sanity. He looked over at the clock on the wall and felt himself cringe at the thought of dismantling it. He needed something sharp though, and no doubt he'd find something in there he could use to cut that rune enough that it didn't work anymore.

He groaned again and forced himself to get up off the bed. It was a challenge to do so. The days of torture had left him spent. His entire body ached and his muscles screamed in protest as he moved across the room. Simply reaching up to get the clock off the wall was enough to make him feel like passing out. He managed though, putting one foot in front of the other and just reminding himself that somewhere out there was someone who cared enough about him to pay Magnus. Now that he thought about it, it had probably been Jace to talk the Warlock into it. Knowing that Jace would be coming for him gave him the strength to raise the clock over his head and smash it into the wall. It hit and its glass face shattered, making more noise than he'd anticipated.

Alec froze waiting for someone to come through the door and catch him at what he was doing, but no one came. He'd been lucky enough that at the same time he was smashing the clock, someone else was screaming bloody murder. He never thought he'd be glad someone else was being tortured. He muttered a bitter thanks to whomever it was and bent down to look for the largest piece of glass he could find. Once found he sat himself on the bed and prepared himself for what he was going to need to do. He was going to have to carve nice deep lines into his chest. It was not going to be easy, and it was going to be very painful.

Alec closed his eyes and counted to steady his breathing as he adjusted his grip on the glass in his hand. He took one more deep breath, looked down at his chest, and plunged the glass shard right at the rune.


End file.
